I'm so Happy
She was so ordinary, but one way or another you'll find different from girls around. She has some kind of something I couldn’t explain...
I met her 4 years ago, during my sophomore...from totally different schools; were totally strangers from each other....
Then I don't know what happened. I just woke up one day working with her in a same company."What?" I said.She's like one time big time. She became the focus ofdiscussion from men to women. She’s not that beautiful but she has some kind of ability to get the attentions of my co workers and later, mine.
Among all ladies in the work area, I admire her most because of her passion in work. Nobody seemed to see this...They like her because they say she's beautiful. But for me it's more than just the pretty face. But of course, I've kept that within me. I didn't want her to know. I never want her to know.She would eat alone in the pantry, with every lady envied her, very few would come to join her to eat. Aside from boys who would ask her for a date.One time on a lunch break, we sat and ate lunch together. It started with a cockroach and other creepy crawlers and then we've found ourselves having some good laughs and a good conversation.
This happened day after day.Then eventually, her smile started brightening up my days, I am . . . loving her company, her. One of a very few reasons that I want to go to work. With all eyes looking at us, we don't care but share good laughs whenever together. Flowers would flood her work area from her suitors but no one I believe gets closer to her (than I do).
"She's not my girlfriend," I would always tell them “but why not?" they would asked."I don't know""Don't tell us she has a boyfriend or anything." they would asked me."I don't know" I'll just smiled them out.
I've thought if for a while. I’ve been with her for some time now but never have the guts to ask her aboutit. But why not? Because, I'm afraid she'd turn away. Becauseshe's too precious for me. She deserves someone better because she, I don’t know...
*****
One day she didn't came to work, I ate alone. Two, three, four days passed with no sign of her. I started missing her.
Days started to get colder, Like on those tragic Asian novels;
-girl would be gone for days,
-boy found out she's sick dying of cancer,
-boy would cry,
-both would cry,
-say they love each other
-it will rain and girl would die
-boy will cry
Oh no! But what if... or what if...Nah. What am I thinking?
So I decided then to just go home. It's raining dinosaur. And like almost all rainy days I had, I'm wet and wild and I had to take it because I just hate bringing umbrellas.
While waiting for a bus, I stood in front of a restaurant. And within the foggy glass of the restaurant I saw her sitting with somebody...it's an immediate response, my eyes pulled out instantly.
I don't want to see it.
"It wasn't her," I said (although I verily knew it was her) I don't know if it was the rain but I felt a warmth rush of a liquid flowing in my checks. "Raindrops," I said. Stupid. I'm inside a bus; I'm no longer in the rain. Looking outside, I remember the feeling.
A pain.
Jealous?
For what?
And why?
No, it was her crying. And what I hate is to see the man in front of her looking at her blankly as if she's not there.
I don't want to see her sad.
I'm sad when she is.
*****
The next day she came to the office smiling at me."How are you?" I asked her. "I'm always fine." she said. I believed her. I want to believe her.
During lunch, we sat together and have some good talk. I knew she wasn't feeling good.
She stopped for a while, closed her eyes and then laid her head on my shoulder.
My world stopped for a moment.
I don’t want it to end.
She whispered softly, "why can't he understand me? Please stay by my side."Those words struck me straight into the heart.
I don't know what to feel. But it hurts. She was with me but she's so far away from me.
But I want to memorize every moment. Feel it.
I want to tell her (how much I care for her), I want to keep her in my arms, safe and sound.
Because, I... I love her. I can more than he can.
I'm not a smart man, but I know what love is... (Forest Gump)
For a moment she was mine.
At the end of the day, I asked her again,
"Are you okay?
I'll be fine," she said
"How about a dinner... or maybe some time?
She just smiled.
"Fine next time maybe, I'll better be going."
"Thank you for being such a good friend. Maybe some other time. "
She smiled again and waved goodbye.
"I'm always here, and I'll be always here, if you'll come back here, you'll find me. I promise." I wanted to tell her that. But I can't.
"Hey, take care of yourself always."
Then goodbye.
*****
I just love sunsets. Now and then I'll smile. Remembering my little time earlier, I looked at the sun, breathe some fresh air and hope for the best.
But when I came back to reality, I've found myself later I was on the very same place, the restaurant.
This is where...
This is where I die.
Two familiar faces from last night.
And within the foggy glass of the restaurant I saw her sitting with somebody...it's an immediate
response, my eyes pulled out instantly.
I don't want to see it.
"It wasn't her," I said (although I verily knew it was her)
I don't know if it was the rain but I felt a warmth rush of liquid flowing in my checks.
"Raindrops," I said.
Stupid. It’s not raining.
Sobbing
Looking inside, I've felt.
A pain.
Jealous?
For what?
And why?
No, it was her smiling. And what I hate is to see the man in front of her, is the man that hold her heart. The one who hurt her one time in her life. (She deserve someone better)
I saw them laughing, smiling, maybe sharing dreams together, I don't know.
Their hands were together, I can't hear them, but every single second that I stood there staring at them, is like a pound of an axe straight into my heart.
I felt cold. Am I dying...?
I want to disappear that very moment
"This is where it ends. ."
*****
Am I selfish?
Shouldn't we be happy for the happiness of our love ones?
I can say that easily but not truthfully.
I'm sad when she's sad,
but when she's happy,
I, am left alone,
Sad.
She was so ordinary, but one way or another you'll find different from girls around. She has some kind of something I couldn’t explain...
I met her 4 years ago, during my sophomore...from totally different schools; were totally strangers from each other....
Then I don't know what happened. I just woke up one day working with her in a same company."What?" I said.She's like one time big time. She became the focus ofdiscussion from men to women. She’s not that beautiful but she has some kind of ability to get the attentions of my co workers and later, mine.
Among all ladies in the work area, I admire her most because of her passion in work. Nobody seemed to see this...They like her because they say she's beautiful. But for me it's more than just the pretty face. But of course, I've kept that within me. I didn't want her to know. I never want her to know.She would eat alone in the pantry, with every lady envied her, very few would come to join her to eat. Aside from boys who would ask her for a date.One time on a lunch break, we sat and ate lunch together. It started with a cockroach and other creepy crawlers and then we've found ourselves having some good laughs and a good conversation.
This happened day after day.Then eventually, her smile started brightening up my days, I am . . . loving her company, her. One of a very few reasons that I want to go to work. With all eyes looking at us, we don't care but share good laughs whenever together. Flowers would flood her work area from her suitors but no one I believe gets closer to her (than I do).
"She's not my girlfriend," I would always tell them “but why not?" they would asked."I don't know""Don't tell us she has a boyfriend or anything." they would asked me."I don't know" I'll just smiled them out.
I've thought if for a while. I’ve been with her for some time now but never have the guts to ask her aboutit. But why not? Because, I'm afraid she'd turn away. Becauseshe's too precious for me. She deserves someone better because she, I don’t know...
*****
One day she didn't came to work, I ate alone. Two, three, four days passed with no sign of her. I started missing her.
Days started to get colder, Like on those tragic Asian novels;
-girl would be gone for days,
-boy found out she's sick dying of cancer,
-boy would cry,
-both would cry,
-say they love each other
-it will rain and girl would die
-boy will cry
Oh no! But what if... or what if...Nah. What am I thinking?
So I decided then to just go home. It's raining dinosaur. And like almost all rainy days I had, I'm wet and wild and I had to take it because I just hate bringing umbrellas.
While waiting for a bus, I stood in front of a restaurant. And within the foggy glass of the restaurant I saw her sitting with somebody...it's an immediate response, my eyes pulled out instantly.
I don't want to see it.
"It wasn't her," I said (although I verily knew it was her) I don't know if it was the rain but I felt a warmth rush of a liquid flowing in my checks. "Raindrops," I said. Stupid. I'm inside a bus; I'm no longer in the rain. Looking outside, I remember the feeling.
A pain.
Jealous?
For what?
And why?
No, it was her crying. And what I hate is to see the man in front of her looking at her blankly as if she's not there.
I don't want to see her sad.
I'm sad when she is.
*****
The next day she came to the office smiling at me."How are you?" I asked her. "I'm always fine." she said. I believed her. I want to believe her.
During lunch, we sat together and have some good talk. I knew she wasn't feeling good.
She stopped for a while, closed her eyes and then laid her head on my shoulder.
My world stopped for a moment.
I don’t want it to end.
She whispered softly, "why can't he understand me? Please stay by my side."Those words struck me straight into the heart.
I don't know what to feel. But it hurts. She was with me but she's so far away from me.
But I want to memorize every moment. Feel it.
I want to tell her (how much I care for her), I want to keep her in my arms, safe and sound.
Because, I... I love her. I can more than he can.
I'm not a smart man, but I know what love is... (Forest Gump)
For a moment she was mine.
At the end of the day, I asked her again,
"Are you okay?
I'll be fine," she said
"How about a dinner... or maybe some time?
She just smiled.
"Fine next time maybe, I'll better be going."
"Thank you for being such a good friend. Maybe some other time. "
She smiled again and waved goodbye.
"I'm always here, and I'll be always here, if you'll come back here, you'll find me. I promise." I wanted to tell her that. But I can't.
"Hey, take care of yourself always."
Then goodbye.
*****
I just love sunsets. Now and then I'll smile. Remembering my little time earlier, I looked at the sun, breathe some fresh air and hope for the best.
But when I came back to reality, I've found myself later I was on the very same place, the restaurant.
This is where...
This is where I die.
Two familiar faces from last night.
And within the foggy glass of the restaurant I saw her sitting with somebody...it's an immediate
response, my eyes pulled out instantly.
I don't want to see it.
"It wasn't her," I said (although I verily knew it was her)
I don't know if it was the rain but I felt a warmth rush of liquid flowing in my checks.
"Raindrops," I said.
Stupid. It’s not raining.
Sobbing
Looking inside, I've felt.
A pain.
Jealous?
For what?
And why?
No, it was her smiling. And what I hate is to see the man in front of her, is the man that hold her heart. The one who hurt her one time in her life. (She deserve someone better)
I saw them laughing, smiling, maybe sharing dreams together, I don't know.
Their hands were together, I can't hear them, but every single second that I stood there staring at them, is like a pound of an axe straight into my heart.
I felt cold. Am I dying...?
I want to disappear that very moment
"This is where it ends. ."
*****
Am I selfish?
Shouldn't we be happy for the happiness of our love ones?
I can say that easily but not truthfully.
I'm sad when she's sad,
but when she's happy,
I, am left alone,
Sad.
1 comment:
great!, ur the man, rainman.
Post a Comment